March 15, 2003
I’ve reached goal; I’m done losing weight. I succeeded not by dropping ten pounds in a week to reach 140, the number I’ve been aiming at for the last two years, but by changing the target. Yesterday I went to Weight Watchers and officially changed my goal there from 145, a number I’d picked so long ago I can no longer remember how I decided on it, to 153, the maximum in the WW recommended range for my height and age. Since I’m now below that weight, I didn’t have to pay the meeting fee for the first time since the early 90’s.
Some might say that reaching my goal by redefining it is cheating and makes me a failure. While it is true that I haven’t achieved the letter of my goal, I have achieved the spirit. I wanted to lose weight in order to look better and feel better, and I’ve accomplished that. I’ve been thinking about changing the number associated with success for a while, since I started to feel comfortable in my skin again a few months ago. I’ve had a lot of time to ponder this decision as I’ve hovered around the 150 mark for these last four months.
What finally convinced me it was the right thing was seeing some vacation pictures. Mr. Karen and I just got around to taking in the last five or six months worth of exposed film this past week. When we got the photos back, I got a chance to see all at once how my body changed over that time. In early October, at around 160 pounds, I still look chunky (though I do look a whole lot better than when I started on this quest two years ago– look at those chins— yikes!). By the end of December, in the low 150’s, I’m happy with how I look dressed for the beach. Since I like how I look and feel now and am at a healthy weight for my height and frame, I decided it was okay to stop struggling to reach an arbitrary number on the scale. Sure, I could lose more weight, and maybe someday I will. For now, though, I’m going to turn my focus to maintenance. If I can stay between 145 and 150, that’ll be fine.
S is for Success