I had a fantasy football team for the first time this season. I expected that at this point I’d be reporting that my season was over, but no, I made the playoffs. In the first round, unfortunately, I have to play a team that’s already beaten mine twice and is well stocked with New England Patriots at key positions. I doubt the Dolphins are going to keep those players in check, but oh wouldn’t it be satisfying if they did.
Before I had a fantasy team, I wasn’t that keen on the idea. I didn’t think it would be right to divide my loyalties between the real Vikings and my faux team. I dealt with that by having a fair number of Vikings on my faux team (most notably the entire defense, Ryan Longwell, and Adrian Peterson), trying not to have any of the Vikings’ opponents, and benching the opponents I did have when they played the Vikings. This strategy required me to make a certain number of roster moves, and once I got started I found I liked having power over the faux players. I made more moves than any other team in the league by far, and I’m probably going to make a few more. Yet I did the best the weeks I made no drops and adds; I was in fifth place when we left on vacation and came back to find I’d won twice and moved up to third.
The most frustrating part was knowing exactly how well the guys I benched each week did. With a real team, you don’t know. Tarvaris Jackson threw four interceptions the first time he played the Lions this season; Brad Childress doesn’t know if Kelly Holcomb or Brooks Bollinger would have done better if he’d played them instead. But when Peyton Manning produced an anemic 23 fantasy points for me in Week 11, I knew I could have gotten 60 if I’d played Hasselbeck instead. (Heck, I would have gotten 23.5 from Tarvaris if I hadn’t dropped him when he got that groin injury in Week 2). So I benched Peyton the next week (advice I read said his receivers wouldn’t be healthy by then), and of course he got 58 points to Hasselbeck’s 40.5. That was the same week I sat the Minnesota defense based on projected points, and they scored three touchdowns. Three. On defense. I changed my team name from PowertrainOperations to Woe Is Me after that. Now I’m afraid to change it back lest I disrupt my mojo.
One year ago today, I posed a fill-in-the-blank question.
Two years ago, I was just back from Wyoming.
Four years ago, I said goodbye to my old office. I’ve since moved to a different building and rumor has it will be moving again next year.
Five years ago, I was on drugs. And not particularly entertaining ones, either.
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