April 10, 2007
My head hurts. My head has hurt more than it has not for what feels like days and days. It’s not a migraine, thank goodness, just tension expressing itself. I’m stressed at work due to a major project that’s been hanging around for months, one which I can never seem to make significant progress on because more important things keep coming up but which has got to get done soon, so very soon. I’d feel better about it if a) I knew how to accomplish what the customer is asking for and b) the customer didn’t add to the list of features they want each time we have a progress meeting. At this rate, I’ll never be done. Never. It helps not one bit that I have my annual review on Monday. I always feel a little ill before my reviews. I’ve gotten no indication that I’m not doing a good job, and no one gets fired around here without at least one warning, but still I worry. This review is also the first one since we went to a team development approach, which means I’ll be getting my review from my team leader, who until a few months ago was my peer. I can only imagine that will add a new level of awkwardness to the process.
I’m stressed at home because there’s an amazing amount of stuff that needs doing there, especially considering there are only the two of us and we have someone come in to clean every other week. I had high hopes for this past three-day weekend but barely made a dent in my list. Congress and the IRS are not helping one bit, either. Why oh why does the tax code have to be so damn complicated? I have an accounting degree and read the Journal of Accountancy regularly and still want to break things when I have to do our returns. I finally gave up this year and bought tax prep software, which feels like an admission of defeat–I can’t do my taxes myself anymore.
So how am I coping? I’m practicing avoidance. I have three knitting projects on the needles–an all-time high for me. If I keep up my pace writing here, I’ll have more entries than ever for April. When I’m knitting or typing an entry, I don’t have to think about all the other things I’m not getting done. Unfortunately, they’re all still there when I put down the needles or upload the page.
It hasn’t been all gloom, of course. I met another fellow SparkPeople person over the weekend. I was amazed to find she lives only a few blocks from me; we met for a walk in the blowing snow on Saturday and I hope we get to do it again soon, minus the wintry weather. Mr. Karen and I watched Michigan State win the NCAA Division I Men’s Hockey Championship Saturday night, which was all the sweeter since they were the underdog. The last time they won it all, we were in Illinois for our wedding shower, so it’s been a long time.
Now I need to buckle down and stop wallowing and just get stuff done. I have another progress meeting coming up on the work project so I need to have some specific new stuff done to show then. I’ve taken a little pink sticky note and written down the three things I need to get done at home tonight. I’m going to try to not get overwhelmed by all the other stuff lurking behind those front line tasks.