December 18, 2004
I’ve been up not quite an hour and have another two before I have to leave to pick up Erica for our Nia class. Normally I’d use a half hour or so of this time to write morning pages, but today I’ve instead unpacked my dirty clothes from the Colorado trip and started a load of laundry. Usually I won’t get on the laundry until after I mosey home from Nia, but there’s extra this week because we were gone and I won’t have much time tomorrow to get stuff done because I’m probably going to the Vikings game (which most people around here are calling the Lions game, of course). I say probably because Eli may come. He’d have to drive from Chicago in the wee hours of the morning, since he’s got a DJ job tonight, but he’s done that before. If he doesn’t show up, though, I get to use his ticket.
At this point, all things are still possible for this weekend. I could have a fabulously productive two days and sew up a storm and not only finish washing and drying all the laundry but put it away as well and get through the piles of mail that need my attention and finish unpacking and even get to some of the items that have been languishing at the bottom of my to do list for weeks. Mr. Karen and I could go out for dinner and a movie–a movie in a theater; we haven’t done that in ages.
But I know that it’s likely Sunday night will find me distressed at how little I’ve gotten done. If it’s like most weeks, there will be stacks of clean clothes in the family room and a laundry basket full of socks and towels and underwear out of which we’ll pull the things we want to wear until I manage to get them put away. My mail pile will still be towering, though the important things will at least have been pulled out and dealt with. I won’t have touched the bottom of my to do list (at this point, I’m not even sure where I put the list itself).
Now I’m just bumming myself out, and that’s no good. There’ll be plenty of opportunity to feel bad Sunday night. Right now, I want to bask in the glow of my fantasy weekend, the one where I get everything done and have fun besides. Maybe someday I’ll actually have one like that.
One year ago, it was time to buy a new car, but the color options were dismal. I’ve gotten used to the dark red we ended up with, but it sure doesn’t make my heart sing.
Two years ago, I was feeling some holiday stress. This year, I’m doing my best to ignore it.