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10-Day Citrus & Protein Diet

Day 1
6:40 a.m. Diet Coke with Lemon
This is not on the diet, so one could make a case that I’ve fallen off the wagon before even climbing on board. However, the diet doesn’t specifically say I can’t have it, and since I figure I’m going to be cranky enough without giving up caffeine at the same time (or learning to drink unsweetened, unlightened tea or coffee), I’m going to allow myself one can a day.

7:30 a.m 4 oz. unsweetened grapefruit juice
I measured it, so I wouldn’t have to drink any more than necessary. It was as grimace-worthy as I remember. I will be drinking this before every meal on this diet (or eating a half a grapefruit).

7:45 a.m. Two hard boiled eggs
I ate these while driving to work; in the interest of keeping my clothes clean, I had no salt, pepper, hot sauce, or any other condiments with them like I might have if I were home. That’s okay; I like them plain, too.

8:00 a.m. Half of stick of sugar-free (but not calorie-free) gum
Again, not on the diet, but not on the forbidden list, either.

11:23 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Started to feel hungry. Drank more water and put off eating lunch because there are no afternoon snacks on the agenda.

2 p.m. mixed green salad with grape tomatoes and oil & vinager dressing, 8 oz. of tuna, some baby carrots, more salad, the other half of that stick of gum
I’m rebelling already; I didn’t measure the dressing. I’m allowed 2 TBSP, but I don’t think I went far over. Five of the tuna ounces were lightly marinated in herbs and garlic (by Charlie the Tuna, not by me). I’m not sure that’s quite allowed, but it did say “prepared as you like it”. I feel full.

7:45 p.m. about 8 oz. of cottage cheese with grape tomatoes and sugar peas (aka “The Mixture” tm Guppy)
Could this diet get any more stereotypical? A day of grapefruit, tuna, cottage cheese, and salad.

8:30 p.m. small glass of riesling
I remembered I can have up to two glasses of white wine a day. That doesn’t seem very diet-y, but it does serve to distract me from the fruit and ice cream and PopTarts I can’t eat.

9:30 p.m. V8 juice
I could have had more grapefruit juice for a snack instead. I decided to pass.

Day 2 Down 2.5 pounds from yesterday

6:45 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. Exactly the same as Day 1
Except the diet Coke had no added flavor.

1:32 p.m. See lunch on Day 1
Except the tuna was lemon pepper and there was only one bowl of salad. The lemon pepper was not as good as the herb garlic. It was enough not good that I don’t think I’ll be buying it again.

7:45 p.m. salad with fat free Caesar dressing, garlic butter fish filet
Full fat dressing would have been better, but I took our only bottle to work and left it there for lunches.

No wine because I went out to run errands after dinner (including getting a bottle of vinagrette dressing to keep at home), and no snack because I forgot I could have one until after I’d brushed my teeth before bed.

Day 3 Down another 2.5 pounds for a total of 5

6:45 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. Same breakfast as the other days

1:45 p.m. salad with oil & vinegar dressing, grape tomatoes, baby carrots, and bacon
Yes, I said bacon. It’s meat, right? When I saw the portable (pre-cooked, no refrigeration needed) bacon in the store last night, I thought it would be just the thing to mix up the diet a little. While it was somewhat tasty, it was disappointing because I was not able to get it crispy enough for my taste, even following the directions for crispy on the box.

7:45 p.m. salad with vinaigrette dressing, smoked salmon, cottage cheese, glass of riesling
Paul Newman makes a fine vinaigrette.

Day 4 No weight lost. Maybe bacon for lunch was not the best idea.

Breakfast: yep, same as the other days
I had more time today so sliced the eggs and had them with hot sauce.

Lunch: green salad with oil and vinegar, 10 oz. of tuna
It was going to be only 5 oz. of tuna, but I got called into a meeting that frustrated me very much so I turned to food to soothe my frazzled nerves. Yeah, I know, not a good idea, but at least I didn’t turn to a Snickers bar.

Dinner: salad with vinaigrette, cottage cheese
All these meals are starting to run into each other.

Day 5 Down one more pound, for a total of six

Breakfast: two eggs, SCRAMBLED
Yep, I shook it up all right. No hard boiled eggs for me today.

Lunch: salad with vinaigrette, tuna
I mixed a little soyanaisse into the tuna because I just couldn’t face having it plain.

Dinner: salad with vinaigrette, cottage cheese, three slices of 2% milk jalapeno cheese
Okay, so the jalapeno cheese is not allowed on the diet. But it IS protein, so it’s not as bad as if I had macaroni ‘n cheese.

Day 6 Down a half pound

Breakfast: half a grapefruit (instead of the ubiquitous juice), two hard boiled eggs, sliced, with jalapeno sauce
Sitting down and eating a half a grapefruit, especially without putting sugar all over it, is so not like me that Mr. Karen checked my forehead to see if I was sick and running a fever. Deprive a person of sugar for five days and even grapefruit starts to taste okay. I could have had scrambled eggs again, but decided I’d rather have the hard boiled–it seems like more to chew.

Lunch: salad with 2 T. green goddess dressing, sliced turkey with mustard, three slices bacon, one slice sharp cheddar cheese
The turkey is a nice change of pace, as is the dressing.

Dinner: salad with 3 T. vinaigrette, shrimp
I only realized when drinking my juice before dinner that I’d forgotten it before lunch. Oops.

Day 7 Up a half a pound. Was it the missed juice? The bacon?

Breakfast: yep, 2 eggs

Lunch: salad with red wine vinaigrette, tuna

Dinner: salad with green goddess, three slices bacon, turkey and mustard

Day 8 Down a pound, for a total of seven. Must not have been the bacon yesterday.

Breakfast: Say it with me, “two hard-boiled eggs”.

Lunch: see yesterday and add some grape tomatoes

Day 9 Weight steady.

Breakfast: Yep, eggs.

Lunch: see yesterday, but take those grape tomatoes away
I’ve decided that the only Starkist marinated tuna flavor that’s good is the sweet and spicy. Unfortunately, today I had the herb and garlic.

Dinner: of course a green salad, with green goddess dressing, a garlic butter fish filet, and five pieces of bacon for dessert

Day 10 Down a pound, for a total of eight.

Breakfast: Eggs.
I am getting sick of eggs. It was an effort to make myself chew the two of them this morning.

Lunch: Salad with vinaigrette, tuna

Dinner: Of course there was salad (I don’t remember if the dressing was vinaigrette or green goddess because I’m sort of on autopilot where the salad’s concerned), turkey slices with mustard

Final weigh-in Same as Day 10, so lost eight pounds in ten days

Note: Even I am not so compulsive that I logged every half stick of gum and breath mint, so you’ll just have to imagine when I had those.

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